When How You See Yourself Gets in the Way of Who You Are

Remember as a kid going into a funhouse of mirrors? The shape of the mirror would alter how your body looked. Sometimes you’d look only 3 feet tall with a long skinny head. Other times you’d be stick skinny with big feet and a bulging eyes.

I thought they were hilarious as a kid. And even now, I find as much hilarity as an adult watching my kid’s reactions.

What I don’t find that funny though, is the perception of myself in my bedroom mirror. Instead when I look in the mirror and see myself trapped inside a bulging body, I feel defeat.

How do you see yourself?
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I feel defeated by diets that didn’t work.

I feel defeated by diets that did work, but meant conforming to such a strict meal plan that social events, instead of being enjoyable, became stressful food and drink situations.

I feel defeated by not having enough time or desire to workout the amount of time necessary to have a concave curve on my body.

I feel defeated that even my big clothes have become too small.

And although the mirror only exposes my exterior “flaws”, the defeated mentality spills over and threatens my self-image in the areas of my self-worth, my talents and abilities, and confidence.

Standing next to a tall, thin woman in the line at the grocery store has actually provoked feelings of inadequacy in myself. I size up what she has in her cart and start making assumptions about the perfect life she must have based on nothing more than her outward appearance.

At speaking engagements, I’ve found myself wondering “Are they actually interested in what I have to say or are they judging me by what they see?”

Of friends, this is a hard place to be.

I know that I am more than a number on a scale or the tag on my clothing.

I know that the beauty of people comes in our differences (including body size).

I know that my experiences and my character and my wisdom are valuable. I also know that I will sometimes withhold sharing these things because of how I see myself.

And girlfriend, when how you see yourself gets in the way of who you are, it’s time to make some changes.


So how can you change your self-perception?



I’m happy to partner with a company that gets the heart of what you see in the mirror. Noom is a health & wellness, psychology-based program that teaches people how to identify and change the habits that have been holding them back from a healthy lifestyle and reaching weight loss goals.

Noom’s coaching model is based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that addresses patterns of thinking and/or behavior.

For instance, I am a bored eater and an emotional eater. AND… I don’t like being told I can’t eat something. It’s like reverse psychology to my brain and makes me crave that food all the more.

Noom helps identify the behavior chain (trigger, thought, action, consequence) behind unhealthy habits, to help you gain a better understanding of where you may struggle and where you could make positive changes. It is a completely customized plan to meet your individual needs in weight loss, preventing or improving health conditions, and achieving a happy, healthy life.

(Spoiler alert: Noom offers a risk-free, 14 day trial for every plan. You can get yours today!)



Affirmations are positive statements that can help overcome self-sabotaging and negative thinking. By repeating them daily, you have the ability to reprogram your mind into believing the stated concept.

My friend, we could talk about this all day. In fact, we will… another day. So be on the lookout for my upcoming post on daily affirmations (including a free printable).



Make a list of your positive qualities. What are you good at? What makes you unique? What attracts people to you?

I won’t lie… this is a tough one. Especially if you’re struggling with a positive self-image.

When I went to  write the Meet Alisha page on the blog, I sat staring at my computer for hours. Literally hours. All I could think about was how I yelled at my kids, how I had struggled with anger, or negative comments from others that replay over and over in my head telling me I’m not good enough. I couldn’t think of anything positive to say about myself besides I’m really good at organizing. But saying that might reveal that it’s part of my obsessive compulsive behavior.

I finally had to ask my husband to help me write the page. What he wrote was a page-sized paragraph of all the things he saw in me… my compassion, my desire to help others, my energetic and magnetic personality. I just sat and cried as I read it because it was all things he saw in me that I couldn’t see in myself.


Have you lost sight of the beautiful person that lies inside the person staring back at you in the mirror? I did. But we do not have to stay stuck where we are.

Whether it’s reminding yourself of the amazing qualities that make you you, or making lifestyle changes… know that you are worth it! Don’t let anyone (especially you) hide your inner beauty!




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